Dear Ashley Furniture Salesman...

This is a list of reasons that I won't be buying my new furniture from you.

1. You circled us like a vulture looking for prey when we walked in. When you attacked, you bombarded us with flyers that we didn't care about and you didn't understand.
   
2. After telling us that you wern't into high pressure selling, you tried to high pressure sell us. You passed us a used business card (a sticker of your name placed over a failed salesperson's name) with a list of your hours on the back and basically followed us around the store commenting about everything we looked at.
   
3. You had the nerve to complain about having to work a lot. I think you should count your blessings that you have a job during these tough times. And you never know who you are talking to- I lost my job due to the recession.
   
4. You were trying to use a metaphor about bottled water that confused even you. By the time you got to the end of it, we were all so confused that I almost went to the grocery store next door to buy water instead of furniture.
   
5. You used the "f-word" twice. I may be known to swear from time to time, but you don't know me. In case you didn't notice, you are at work selling couches to moms, not at a bar drinking beers with friends.

In closing, I would like to thank you anyways. Your store does have the furniture we intend on buying. And we now have your schedule so we will be there tomorrow, on your day off, to buy it from one of your coworkers. I hope your boss has more stickers to put over your name on the business cards for the guy he hires to replace you someday.