Don't give me your crap.

How do you tell someone nicely that you don't want their used crushed velvet hot pants? Even if the ass on them wasn't worn completely thin, I still wouldn't put my daughter in them. And I don't want your dirty helmet and teddy bear knee pads either.

With the amount of crap that people give me, I would swear there is a sign on my front lawn that says "Amvets Drop-Off Site." Why don't people understand that if they think something is garbage, chances are so will everyone else? Don't give me your crap!

Along with the hot pants and helmet, here are some other crappy things people have given me:

• A fridge without door handles.
• A 1980's lamp that looked like a giant sea shell.
  
• Stained baby clothes. I have enough of my own! And if you couldn't get the stains out seven years and three kids ago, I can't get them out now.
  
• A 25 year old faded picture of Jesus.
  
• Typewriters that are about 30 years old. (Thanks John!)
  
• Fat clothes with the disclaimer that "I won't need these- I'll never be that big again!" Thanks a lot jerk! I hope you get bigger.
  
• Marigolds. I hate marigolds as much as bunnies do.

I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but seriously, I don't want your crap!