Vince Vaughn is funny because...

1.) There's a real big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery and then strike your throat before you even know you're in a fight.


2.) I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?


3.) Alright, let me be the first to say congratulations to you then. You get one vagina for the rest of your life. Real smart Frank. Way to work it through.



4.) Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!


5.) Listen, Lassie, and listen good. I'm not saying he's not gonna get married. I'm not saying he's not gonna have kids. If it does happen, his wife is gonna come home, and find him with his Tiajuana lover clubbing each other over Yanni's greatest hits.


6.) Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.